The meaning behind relationships
A question that I frequently get asked in the counseling room is:
“What is the purpose of relationships?“
This often comes with a look of jadedness from numerous failed relationships and watching marriages fall apart everywhere. And I don’t blame them, the idea of a strong, healthy relationship almost feels idealistic and unachievable. The good news is that it’s not. The bad news is that it takes hard work.
In truth, the real meaning of a relationship goes far beyond the superficial connection we often think of. Relationships are complex bonds that involve trust, communication, and emotional connection. Attachment theory explains how our early relationships with caregivers influence the way we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives, whether secure, anxious-ambivalent, disorganised and avoidant. In order to build healthy relationships, we need to work with the attachement styles that we have grown up with and synergise them with that of our partners in a healthy way (that’s the “work” part.)
What makes a good relationship
A good relationship is built on a foundation of good old fashion respect, trust, communication and enjoying time with each other. There is no secret sauce. Most relationship issues can be traced back to the disruption of one or more of these fundemental values.
Relationships thrive when a couple clearly understands how their relationship work.
This involves sharing experiences, supporting each other, and accepting each other's flaws. A good relationship allows for individual growth while also prioritizing the growth of the relationship itself. To make a relationship last, couples need to be committed to the relationship and willing to work through challenges together.
A long-term study conducted by psychologist John Gottman found that successful couples have a ratio of five positive interactions to every negative interaction. But that doesn’t just happen naturally; It is a conscious practice that is cultivated by choice from both parties of the relationship. They also communicate openly and effectively, show affection and appreciation for each other, and are able to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
What about red flags
On the other hand, red flags in a relationship include a lack of trust, poor communication, and an inability to resolve conflicts. Other red flags may include controlling behavior, emotional or physical abuse, and a lack of support or respect for each other's individuality. It is important to recognize these red flags and address them as soon as possible to avoid further damage to the relationship.
In conclusion, relationships are complex bonds that involve more than just a superficial connection. The key to building a good relationship is mutual respect, trust, and communication. To make a relationship last, couples need to be committed to the relationship and willing to work through challenges together. And finally, recognizing red flags in a relationship is crucial for maintaining a healthy and happy bond with your partner. Remember, relationships take effort and investment, but they can bring tremendous joy and fulfillment to our lives when done right.
